The Moorish Wanderer

His Majesty’s Nihilist Blog Government

Posted in Flash News, Moroccanology, Morocco, Polfiction by Zouhair ABH on October 9, 2010

A quick and dirty post. Nothing serious, just a little joke that got out of hands (mine, to be precise) Notice: this is a purely fictional post. the objective is to push around a witty banter with the nihilist lot of the Blogoma.

“Late this morning, His Majesty the King Mohamed VI has asked M Org, Larbi, to form in His name a nihilist government and subsequently lead the newly elected parliament following the constitutional reform. The government has the crucial task of making sure the democratic process is genuinely carried out and ensure every Moroccan citizen enjoy their rights responsibly, the Larbi Government has the equally important objective to put together policies that ensure Morocco to be a genuine constitutional democratic parliamentary monarchy. The designate Prime Minister presented the Head of State with the following list, and it has been accepted. These are the members of the inner cabinet, other junior postings are to be published later in the week.

Prime Minister:
M. Org, Larbi, as a veteran blogger, was naturally offered the much prized Prime Ministerial office; His leadership, self-assurance in times of crisis as well as his coolness and constant nihilist stand qualify him to lead the government team into sucess. He will however have a hard time in coordinating the departments, as his colleagues have their own policies, and make sure in the process their policies are well carried out despite joint opposition from the grimaseekers national front and the reactionaries too.

Finance Minister:
Anas Alaoui was in pole position for a senior cabinet postings, and is effectively the deputy prime minister. He succeed in securing the Finance portfolio, a department that fits with his good record in economic policies. Because of the delicate balance in parliament, difficulties will arise when he will present  and vote the Budget, where the opposition will not allow his policies to go through.

Interior and Local Governement Minister:
Cercle des Jeunes Débiles Marocains. While many qualified Abou Lahab as upstart, his efforts in order to get a senior posting were rewarded, by getting the high-profile interior department, thanks to his brilliant Prison Offshore policy, as well as his deep knowledge of Moroccan state of mind. all of which are going to be come in handy later on. However, he will need to deal with the recent death of a Moroccan citizen in a police station, and in the process, re-brand the Police’s image among Moroccan citizens.  (they also have the task to launch a website and submit a decent logo for the department)
Religious Affairs and Habous Minister: The Moroccan Girl. The posting came as surprise as to allocate a female minister to a very special department, but she can handle her portfolio quite well. She might however need to take on the reactionary Ulemas that control effectively her department.
Justice Minister: Ibnkafka
An obvious choice and not subject to debate. The most respected and rigourous Moroccan jurist on probation will face the garguantuan task to make sure the judiciary is effectively independent and fair.
Government Secretary: Shiftybox
She will make sure everyone toes the line; Her heydays of feminine and individual militancy will be helpful for her to make sure the governement sticks to the policies they were elected upon.

Youth and Sports Minister: Le Mythe
Back from the wilderness, Le Mythe has been given the junior portfolio of Youth and Sports thanks to his involvement in these activities, but he can pull off a good result when he puts his mind to it

Culture and Arts Minister: Agharass
A gifted artist, he was given a portfolio he will excel in. He has the important task of changing the whole cultural paradigm and push for a larger and more diverse Moroccan culture. He will also make sure that Art is accessible to everyone, according to the government policy

Communications and New Technologies Minister: Hisham Almiraat
There is still considerable doubt about him cumulating Health portfolio too. His constant stand of Bloggers’ liberty  of speech, as well as his considerable knowledge in Web 2.0 made him the ideal man for the job.

 

Education, Research and High Education: B. Sahib, PhD
The portfolio was originally offered to Lbadikho, the most Left-wing member of the establishment and a scientific of high standards, but he eventually turned it down on the ground he could not conciliate his research and government job. The department was forthwith given to B.S. PhD, in a recognition for his unique investigation methods and his quality papers. He is expected to follow closely the government policy in renovating scientific research in Morocco and give it a boost in international standards.

Foreign Affairs and International Cooperation: Reda.
His career as a diplomat outside Morocco and in countries that are not part of the ‘classic’ Moroccan network are going to be very valuable in the government’s foreign policy

Energy and Mining Minister: Kingstoune
As a wealthy tycoon, Kingstoune is likely to put to good use his considerable network and contacts for Morocco in order to design the optimal energy policy for the century.

Health Minister: Dr H. Makaynach
Because M. Almiraat has been given the Communications portfolio, Dr Makaynach volunteered for the delicate task of reforming the national health service, against the trade-unions and the private hospitals lobby. A difficult task that he is willing to take on.

Transports Minister: Spyjones
Although he has little experience and is the younger member of the cabinet, his outstanding knowledge will more than make up for it and help bring about a solution to the problem of high death tolls in Moroccan highways.

Agriculture Minister: Fhamator
Another surprise, as Fhamator was supposed to get a more important portfolio. But because he withdrew from front-line nihilism for a long time, he was not the first choice for the Prime Minister, although his deep knowledge of Moroccan society will be put to good use in reforming the present plethoric real estate jurisdiction

Families and Solidarity Minister: Moom Light
Her close involvement with European models of society and individual liberties will help her in making real the government’s commitment to bring about civil partnership, de-penalisation of homosexuality and pre-marital sex. She and the Cabinet secretary (Mrs Shiftybox) will make sure the government sticks to the agenda on civil and individual liberties.

Labour and Employement Minister: Mounir Bensalah
Mr Bensalah, a veteran human-rights activist with high-level connection trade unions, will bring his considerable knowledge and personality in making sure all social partners agree to government policies.

 

 

The government has been therefore been formed, and was given a positive vote of confidence from Parliament subsequently. The author wants to thank Agharass for his idea (which was merely put into shape). The author is expecting the Prime Minister and the King’s consent to present him with the Governorship of Bank Al Maghrib. The Author also apologizes he favoured bloggers at the expenses of others but that was a bit of  a spur-of-the-moment kind of idea, so please, don’t look hurt🙂

32 Responses

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  1. alwandida said, on October 9, 2010 at 22:25

    أنا كانحتج و كانقدم الإستقالة المسبقة ديالي من هاد الحكومة

    أنا كنرفض نكون فحكومة جايبة قل من %9 من أصوات المغاربة

    و كنقتارح أن الأستاذ الباحث المنور بوحاج ساهيب
    http://bouhajsahib.wordpress.com/

    هو اللي ياخد منصب وزارة البحث العلمي فبلاصة هداك النقال ديال الباديخو اللي عرض ما ينشر فالمجلات العلمية كأي باحث محترم، غادي كاينقل المقالات ديال عباد الله و ينشرهم فالوانضيضة ديالو

  2. Twitted by docteurho said, on October 9, 2010 at 22:31

    […] This post was Twitted by docteurho […]

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Riad Essbai, CJDM. CJDM said: La blogoma est une nihilosphère http://bit.ly/dkCDBe (proud member of His Majesty’s Nihilist Blog Government) […]

  4. alwandida said, on October 10, 2010 at 08:55

    ناري درتيها بصح هههههه

    واش كاين شي وزير كيستقيل الرالسو من الحكومة؟ و لو كانت عدمية

    • The Moorish Wanderer said, on October 10, 2010 at 08:59

      إوى نتى ليما بغيتيش تبقى في الوزارة، ما عجباكش الميرسيديس كوير طبيعي و الشيفور و الفيلا. مشات سنوات النظال فلخوى…😀

  5. Twitted by SpyJones said, on October 10, 2010 at 10:21

    […] This post was Twitted by SpyJones […]

  6. hmida said, on October 10, 2010 at 18:01

    J ‘avais laissé un commentaire qui ne semble pas du goût du propriétaire de cet espace et qui n’est pas mis en ligne!

    C’est son droit de le censurer! Mais qu’il ne vienne pas nous bassiner avec la liberté d’expression!

    • The Moorish Wanderer said, on October 10, 2010 at 18:23

      euh… les commentaires sur mon blog ne sont pas modérés (sauf les spams) à ma connaissance c’est ton premier commentaire ici.

  7. hmida said, on October 10, 2010 at 18:34

    Alors je reprends mon commentaire initial :

    Ce billet sent le réchauffé : le truc a été utilisé il y a déjà quelque temps!

    Cà sent aussi la récup : Le Mythe un nihiliste? Aghrass un nihiliste?

    Mais bon….booooffffff!

    J’espère que cette fois-ci,çà passera!

    • The Moorish Wanderer said, on October 10, 2010 at 18:40

      et voilà, ton commentaire est bien publié. il faut faire attention à ne pas virer paranoïaque, avec l’âge ça n’aide pas beaucoup🙂
      Je sais qu’Ibn Kafka a déjà publié un post semblable il y a quelques années (et que je viens de découvrir) mais le principe était l’idée d’un post léger en discussion avec Agharass sur twitter. Mais bon, si tu trouves que ce n’est pas drôle, c’est ton droit (peut-être es-tu jaloux d’être dans l’opposition pour une fois…).

      Impressionnant que tu réagisse à ce post et pas à un autre qui t’était dédié. En même temps, c’est un grand honneur que d’accueillir les commentaires du sieur hmida🙂

  8. le raisonnable said, on October 11, 2010 at 07:44

    Why oh why would a nihilist government have a Religious Affairs and Habous Ministry? It defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? Or is His Majesty scared for his legitimacy among the unwashed masses?

    • The Moorish Wanderer said, on October 12, 2010 at 07:37

      The Habous department serves a three-folds strategy:
      – reassure the conservative wing of nihilists: it’s like saying “we are keeping the Habous because we care about what Moroccans are. we will reform the whole thing step by step”
      – control religious policy and orient it. A department is a powerful vehicle to make sure religious stays out of public sphere. If the department were to be abolished how would we push our nihilist agenda around?
      – the perfect post for La Marocaine: she has extraordinary knowledge of theology; why waste such potential?🙂

      • le raisonnable said, on October 12, 2010 at 12:29

        Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.

        If you want to keep the Habous department around, then you’re not much of a nihilist. Might as well keep the power in the hands of Mohammed 6.

        • The Moorish Wanderer said, on October 12, 2010 at 18:18

          If I had my ways, there’s more than the Habous department that would be abolished.
          how about removing religious education,
          abolition of penal code articles that outlaw non-marital sex, homosexuality and ‘improper public behaviour’
          the introduction of indiscriminate civil partnership,
          de-penalisation of soft drugs and prostitution (though under government regulations) and many other policies. These are easy to introduce when the governing parties are sure of their support (from their voter). The tough policies are economic, where makhzen is much stronger. Abolishing Habous is definitely small beer.

          This was just a private joke between fellow bloggers. Now if you want to discuss policies, I am happy to, but then it will get serious🙂

  9. hmida said, on October 11, 2010 at 12:54

    Je ne suis pas parano..La preuve est ton billet sur moi n’ m’a pas intéressé…Je ne suis pas dans l’opposition pas plus que j’ n’ai jamais été dans la majorité!

    Quant à mes commentaires, je n’en place pas sur des billets écrits dans une langue dont je ne connais que les balbutiements!

    Bonne continuation !

  10. mirza said, on October 11, 2010 at 13:43

    @Hmida: “Quant à mes commentaires, je n’en place pas sur des billets écrits dans une langue dont je ne connais que les balbutiements!”

    Yet, you felt free to comment on this post yesterday.

    Classic schizophrenia of the Makhzenist!

  11. hmida said, on October 11, 2010 at 14:56

    Ce post peut être compris par un élève de sixième qui a fait 3 heures d’anglais…Ce n’est quand même pas du Shakespeare!

    A propos de parano, je crois que tu es en plein dedans avec ton délire “antimakhzanien” : tu te mélanges les pinceaux, mon ami!

    • boukal said, on October 11, 2010 at 19:27

      Le réac’ est en mode overdrive aujourd’hui! Après le coup de la victime prétendument censurée, il nous revient de plus belle en décriant les “délires” de tout ceux qui s’opposent à l’hégémonie des Alaouis sur la vie publique, de l’absence de libertés, et aux valeurs incongrues en période de mondialisation. Il est mignon avec sa petite pension, sa photo de Hassan 2 dans le salon, et son ordinateur qui a plus virus que Paris Hilton.

      Allez papi, si tu trouves le temps entre deux siestes, raconte nous comment le Makhzen ne veux que notre bien et surtout n’oublie pas d’y mêler la France.

      i3awen rabi!

  12. hmm...? said, on October 13, 2010 at 00:02

    thanks

  13. boukal said, on October 13, 2010 at 11:15

    Une Marocaine admitted that she is not familiar with religions and doesn’t plan to be because “[elle] tiens a [son] équilibre…”

    http://www.larbi.org/post/2009/09/Manifestation-des-non-je%C3%BBneurs-de-Ramadan-au-Maroc#c31058

    And please don’t turn this into yet another satirical self-deprecating cryptic blog. That’s the coward’s way!

    • The Moorish Wanderer said, on October 14, 2010 at 16:18

      Ok, she might have said so, but I have reasons to “appoint” her to this particular portfolio. In any case this is just a private joke; People seems to get heated up more about this than anything else, it’s not like we are actually preparing for the next government, are we?.

      You are right, I shouldn’t turn this into another satirical self-depreciating cryptic blog. But guess what, this post brought me in 2 days what I used to receive weekly in number of visits (that boosted my ego a bit, I can’t deny it). I will certainly go back to the old ways of long, tedious blog posts no one but a few care to read, rest assured. Thanks for showing me back my place…

      • hakada said, on October 15, 2010 at 14:48

        Publishing a private joke on public blog is an extremely bad editorial decision. Would you not agree?

        It’s not about getting heated up. It’s about constructive criticism for a blogger who has a lot to say and (unlike the average Moroccan) ain’t scared to say it.

        Your position is to rise above the crass. And if that’s an unpopular view, so be it. For what it’s worth, and in an effort to boost your ego, let me say that your blog is AWESOME!

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  15. branchenbuch said, on October 21, 2010 at 21:04

    I don’t usually reply to posts but I will in this case.
    my God, i thought you were going to chip in with some decisive insght at the end there, not leave it
    with ‘we leave it to you to decide’.

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  18. Hisham said, on October 25, 2010 at 21:49

    Thank you Moorish for this humbling nomination which I accept wholeheartedly. I’ll be presenting my ministerial program à la Ibn Kafka very soon. I’m working on it and I beg for your patience. Hopefully my distinguished colleagues will follow suit!

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